It Will Take Just Another Minute

Every night, just before I go to sleep, I say a prayer for all those that I feel need a prayer said in their behalf. Of course, my family is a big part of them, but I also include people that I know and believe need help in the form of prayer.
Last year, I included Rachel, lately one of my friends that is dying of cancer (Bill Conlon), now I have included Rachel's husband (Jon) as he has a problem that will be with him the rest of his life. I have been able to control mine through proper diet and liquid intake. The impurities in tap water (minerals and particulates) and foods that are very high in calcium are the main contributors to this condition.
Maybe my prayers will help, they certainly can't hurt.
One of the things I pray for is - I hope I live long enough to actually meet Rachel, Jon and the kids. At least, I talk to them every day, so I guess I will settle for that, at least for now.

I Gambled and I Think I won

I had a growth about a half inch below my left eye and it was getting large enough that it caught on face cloths and towels. When it would catch, it would hurt, big time.
I took a chance and took some white thread and tied a knot around it. This was supposed to restrict blood flow and allow it to die. This didn't happen. Instead it was getting sore and was not stopping blood the flow. In addition to that, I couldn't get the white thread off and I was afraid it would get infected.
So, what did I do?? Well, I got a pair of tweezers and scissors, I pulled it out far enough to cut it off with the scissors. That part didn't hurt, but it bled more than I thought. I stopped the bleeding and of course, what ever it was is gone. I have a smooth face again.

The Last Bandage

Doris and I took off the last bandage off my foot tonight. I just have a band aid with ointment covering the incision on the toe. Tomorrow I will be able to wear real shoes and take a shower. My son, laughingly said, we will all be glad of that. Most of all, I will be glad of that.
Later in the afternoon, 2-o'clock to be exact, I have a doctors appointment to check the first operation, The Double Hernia condition. I will try to get an idea as to when I can go back to work. I don't want to rush it, as in too soon, but I do need to start bringing in some money again.

Today Is a Brand New Day - Never Used Before

Yesterday was as bad a day as it gets. Today is turning out to be a really good day. I found out that I really will have a job when I get ready to go back. My best friend is talking to me as if nothing has happened, that's great. Lastly, I have reviewed a new program that might be my monetary salvation. If it works, I might make over $1000 per month in addition to everything else.
Yes, this is a great day !!!

What Have I Lost Today ???

Today is my best friend's birthday and it has not been a good day. First, I feel I have lost her friendship and I am not sure why. She is being very silent about it. I think it might be because I unwittingly revealed a confidence and her husband figured it out and things have just gotten blown out of proportion from there. I don't really know for sure.
So, what have I lost today ???
1. ) I may have lost my best friend and I am not really sure why.
2.) I am just about broke and I will have to borrow money, my back-up savings is gone.
3.) I have been informed that if I am not back to work by the 21st of November, I will be terminated and have to apply as a new employee. They have changed the hiring requirements for the jobs in the store. The one that I can't pass is the ability to lift in excess of 100 pounds.
There are others too, but I think I can get around them.
This may not be the worst day in my life, but it's close and I am too old for this kind of tension. I am working myself up to a heart attack or something.
I must get my doctors to let me get back to work ASAP or I will be bankrupt for life. If that happens, my life won't be worth living and that's a choice I will deal with then. I am getting sick of failure, both in business and in my personal life.

You Figure It out - I Can't

I am beginning to wonder why I do what I do every day. I wake up and the very first thing I do is get on the computer. Why - - to see if my friend Rachel sent me an e-mail or if she is on the Yahoo Messenger. If I didn't get an e-mail or she is not on the messenger, I go spastic.
Why is that ???
I guess I am so lonely, and I don't have any friends any more, that I look forward to contact with her as ofetn as possible.
Over the period of time I have known her, I have created a bond with her that is stronger than I would have ever thought it could be. I feel certain she feels the same. She is so young and I am so old. What do we have in common that has attracted us to be such good friends. I can say anything to her, no matter what it is, she always seems sympathetic to my needs. I do my best to be sympathetic to her's too.
There is one thing that has happened recently that is of some concern to me. I was stupid enough to reveal on the messenger, information that was not known to her husband (he saw it) and it led to a very heated discussion or family fight. This places her in a position where her husband may not fully trust her, as before, and of course - will she ever trust me with her sensitive information again. I hope she does, as I want things to get back to where it was before.
So, the question still remains, why am I so connected to her???
I call her my Adopted Daughter and I say that I am her USA Dad.
Unwittingly, I believe she has become my obsession, I'm not sure.
That's how much I care for her.
Why Is That ??? ..... I don't know, You Figure It Out !!!!!

What Was I Thinking???

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from Rachel telling me that she had received the refund for an over payment for an order. I was so excited about that I didn't use my head and answered the e-mail by sending her a message on the Yahoo Messenger. I should have known that her husdband would read it as it might be the most prominent displayed screen.

That caused them to get into a heated disagreement and I felt so sorry for her as she had not yet disclosed this purchase to her husband. Probably because he wasn't in favor of it when first approached.

I think that I am at fault because now he can't trust her, and worse, she can no longer trust me to use my head. Had I sent an e-mail, she could have deleted it and that would have been that. It's a terrible thing to have a close friend you can't trust.
I wonder how long it will be before she will trust me again, maybe never !!!
It really is all my fault. I was fully aware of his lack of knowledge of this.
I am so, so, so, sorry

I Feel Sad Today

I am not sure why, but I feel very sad, maybe rejected - I don't know for sure. Even my best friend seems too busy to talk to me.
I am tired of the basin bath, I would like to take a shower. I was on the phone with the doctor's office nurse and she said they are going to remove the bandage, but are going to replace it with another. It may stay on for a week to ten days.
I really need to get back to work, I am running out of money. The last operation cost $15,000 plus and I have no idea what this one will cost. Thank god I have insurance to cover most of it.

One Whole Day On The Messenger With Rachel

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No Pain Today

Today is Friday, just 2 days after my foot operation and I don't have any pain. It's amazing as I really believed that I would be in pain for days. I can hardly believe it.

I was worried about the operation, but now that it's over, I am glad I had it done.

Doris is still having problems with her eyesight. Every now and then her sight narrows to a point and she has to lie down to relieve it. The medical community can't give her an answer.
It's been going on for years, but lately it's very frequent.

My Worst Fears Are Over

I had the operation on my foot this morning and it all went OK. I was very worried about it based on the the information given to me by the last doctor that had worked on me.

I think the very same thing happened this time as the last time, the difference being that they were prepared for it. My reason for thinking this is simply that my throat is very sore, like it was before from the first operation. Who knows, but why would my throat be sore???

There is one thing I really did do, and that is, to imagine I was holding the hands of the 2 people I love the most, just before I was put under. That would be my wife and my very best friend.

Thank God it's all over and I can get back to living my life.

Pre-op Day

I went to the hospital and went through another pre-operational examination preparing for the operation on Wednesday on my right foot.
During the last operation, a month ago, my tongue fell back and closed the airway and they had to act very quickly to get an airway down my throat. I am hoping it doesn't happen again, but it might. I hope they are ready for that this time.
Subconsciously, I knew there was a problem, but I wasn't fully aware of it until today. Deep down, I have been dreading this operation and now I know why. I could have died.

Today Is Sunday

My friend is getting better, or at least she is making every effort to get better and that's a real good beginning. She spends an inordinate amount of time reading up on her disorder, but it seems to be helpful.

I have three more days to go and I will be "Under The Knife" again. I don't know why I am so worried about it, but I am. I think, I will be out of work longer for the foot operation than the hernia operation. It's got to be done, but I will be out of work and no money coming in. Maybe something will break in the other stuff I am into and some kind of money will show up.

I Am Worried About The Next Operation

I dont know why, but I really am worried about next Wednesday's operation on my foot. I know it's just a small thing compared to the last operation, but for some unknown reason, I am worried.
I ordered some more Silver Solution as I gave most of it to my family members that I believed needed it. I will need it when I come home from the hospital next week. I checked the tracking number for it and I will get it just in time, Tuesday.

I still have some savings, but the way it seems to be going, I am worried that we will be out of money before I get back to work. My credit is almost perfect, but in one month, it could be ruined. So, if I do need money, where will I get it.

Important Things That Happened Today

I spoke to Rachel, via e-mail, concerning the possibility that I might loose my pension due to this economic crisis and without reservation she said she would help me in any way she could. That, to me, was a very unselfish act of her.

Obviously she can't help me with real money, but she is willing to try to help me make money on the web. Nobody else will.
She really is my best friend!!!!

Doreen did call today and made my day with her story about her problem at her horse barn.
She said that while being there feeding the horses, she had to shit and there isn't anywhere to go in the barn. So couldn't get to the house as it's a good 300 yards away, so it was run to the woods. After she did what she had to do, she realized that there was nothing to wipe with. So she said she used her underpants. That wasn't enough, so she had to use a sock, then another, and finally her bra. Her rendition of her story was hilarious as she told it to me.
She got her husband to go to the woods and bury the mess. This led to getting a porta-potty at thr barn for future calls of nature.
I was laughing all the way through her story as I thought it was hilarious.