Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Somehow Things Are Different

Today is the second day that I feel shut out of my best friend's life. I used to get up and the very first thing I would do is get on the computer to see if she was on her computer. I would start a conversation and it would last until one of us had to leave to do something. I would wait until she got back to start talking again.

The greatest majority of our discussions were just idle chit-chat, but we are connected through our online businesses. I came to care for her so strongly that I decided to look at her as my adopted daughter and she played along. We shared some very confidential information about our lives and family members. I actually felt as though I was a part of her family due to the detailed information she was giving me, such as, what Chandler was having for breakfast or that Emma was not out of bed yet and had to go to school.

If I am shut out, it will leave a tremendous void in my life that I am not sure how I will handle, as she has become such a great part of my life. I realize that she is having a lot of medical problems right now, but I have repeatedly said that I would help in any way I could, even if all I could do is simply talk to her.

I try to work my on-line businesses, but it's no fun anymore without her to talk to when I am doing stuff. We would share ideas, letters and much more, just to keep a good work related climate. I sincerely hope things get back to the way it was. Her problems have affected me far more than I would have expected.

I pray for her and her family every day and I hope she has not shut me out and this is just me being paranoid.

UPDATE

I just spoke to Jon and he updated me on My Best Friends condition. I had written her an e-mail last night indicating that I thought she had a personality problem and Jon told me she has a personality disorder as diagnosed by her medical doctors. I was hoping I was wrong, but it looks like I was right. That's the reason I thought she shut me out - she hasn't.

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